You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
