PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize