I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize