Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
