So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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