I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
