So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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