you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Hippo gnu deer
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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