I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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