So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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