I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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