drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
