Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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