You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
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did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
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I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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