Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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