if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
