My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize