I want to make a zoo with you.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
