AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
