Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
