You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
