Where are you?
In a non slutty way
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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