I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
