I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
