i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
