capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize