If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
