He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
