god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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