i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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