I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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