he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
