I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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