So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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