Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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