I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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