I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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