We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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