Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I want a musical about memes.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
