Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now

(810): View more from Michigan

But I don't think guys love me

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(770): View more from Georgia

I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today

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(410): View more from Maryland

so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.

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(516): View more from New York

is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?

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(480): View more from Arizona

We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet

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(951): View more from California

I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.

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(712): View more from Iowa

just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Or is it distressingly heterosexual?

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