smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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