Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
