In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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