somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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