jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
