So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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