i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Randomize
