She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
There r osticjed everywhere
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
