this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
