i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
