ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
