Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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