She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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