Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
