please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize