I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
