last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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