is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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