I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
