brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
whose parrot is this?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
