I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
