i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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