Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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