Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
