I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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