ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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