i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
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