So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
