how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize