Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I got inside last night via doggy door
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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