life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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