I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
