I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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